


Coasterphobia

by Llama_and_Lion



Series: OtaYuri Week 2017 [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Car Accidents, Coasterphobia, M/M, OtaYuri Week, OtaYuri Week 2017, Phobias, Rollercoasters, Vomiting, fears, graphic description of anxiety attack, otayuri - Freeform, theme park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 13:52:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9901196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llama_and_Lion/pseuds/Llama_and_Lion
Summary: "I didn't want you to miss out on the fun because of me," he mutters, cheeks pink with embarrassment."Don't be stupid, I should've realised something was up, you weren't yourself, if I'd noticed I would never have made you go on it," Yuri says guilty.OtaYuri Week 2017 Day 5 - Fears





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was pure self indulgent whump because I wanted to write about Otabek having an anxiety attack I'm sorry I'm projecting onto fictional characters. 
> 
> And I missed two days whoops. 
> 
> Enjoy this mess

It's grey, the scent of rain on the early morning air in the beginning of March. Otabek surveys the entrance to the park and swallows hard. Anxiety is brewing at his navel as he watches the empty rides travel along their tracks, completing their test runs before the park opens.

_It's just a ride..._

The younger boy beside him wraps his duffel coat around himself a little tighter, shoulder length blond hair ruffled by the slight breeze turns to grin up at him. Otabek grins back, pushing his nervous thoughts to the back of his mind and throws an arm over Yuri's shoulders casually.

_It was going to be fine..._

He turns his attention to the other people present. Victor is in a state of mild distress, furiously searching through his emails trying to find the online tickets he and Katsuki had purchased for Yuri's birthday. The Japanese skater trying to diffuse the situation by attempting to pry the phone from his fiancés hands.

Yuri casts the pair a scathing look and mutters, "I wish those two would just hurry up," rocking on the balls of his feet in barely contained excitement. Otabek chuckles and gives the younger boy a friendly push.

"Play nice Yuri, this is your birthday present from them," the blond rolls his eyes despairingly at him but doesn't bother with retorting back, knowing that Otabek is right but not going so far as to actively acknowledge it.

"Plus," he continues, "it's not like their are many people here," gesturing to the mostly empty parking lot, there were probably less than fifty people milling around the entrance, smug in the knowledge that they had picked a day when there would be no need to queue for the rides. Otabeks stomach sinks a little at the thought, almost all of the rides are quite high off the ground and an image of himself as a rag doll being thrown about in the harnesses makes Otabek shove his hands deeper into his pockets to conceal their trembling.

_It's just a ride, it's going to be fine..._

To the others, he probably just looks cold which isn't untrue. There's a definite chill to the air, if by no other means than he can tell by the way the tip of Yuris nose has gone slightly pink.

"Aha! Got them!" The quiet is broken by Victors gleeful cry, the older man now waving the phone over his head, eyes scrunched up and smiling widely. Over Victor's shoulder Otabek can see Katsuki, palm flush against his forehead, half annoyed half chuckling at the silver haired mans endearing antics. Otabek watches as they link arms and Victor beams, "Come on then, lets go!" And strides towards the entrance.

At the gates, an employee scans the QR code on Victors phone and they each receive a stamp on the back of their hand which gets them free reentry or something Otabek could care less about. Yuuri and Victor stick around just long enough for them all to arrange a meeting point for lunch before the older man drags his fiancé towards the arcade. Yuuri smiles apologetically over his shoulder at the two of them and waving, before turning his attention back to his partner.

Yuri knocks their arms together,

"What do you wanna do first?" He asks, fidgeting from one foot to the other. Otabek tries not to think about how his stomach feels like lead as he flashes Yuri a small smile.

_Don't ruin Yuri's day..._

"Whatever you want to do, it's your birthday," he insists, thrusting the brightly coloured map into the younger boys pale hands. Yuri looks ready to burst and scans the map quickly, choosing a massive ride on the other side of the park. The start walking, Yuri chatting animatedly about how irritating Victor and 'Katsudon' have been since yesterday. Otabek doesn't need to speak, Yuri can easily talk till the cows come home, but even as he listens his mind begins to wander a little.

It had been Yuri's birthday yesterday, so Otabek had come for a three day fly in visit (all he could spare out of his intense training schedule) to celebrate with him. Yesterday had been a small affair with the other Russian skaters during the day, and going to Yuri's s grandpas for dinner in the evening, so in between Otabek hadn't had much time to worry about what today would entail. Yuri's present from Victor and Yuuri was a trip out to a theme park and they had bought a ticket for Otabek too, so he could hardly refuse to go. Their time together was limited anyway and he wasn't going to miss a whole day with his friend just because of a few rollercoaster rides.

_You're not going to ruin this for Yuri..._

They were already at the entrance to the ride, the walk across the park had gone far too quickly, the great, bright red structure now towering above them. Otabek eyed a particularly large loop the loop nervously as they began weaving their way through the queuing section which was all but empty. Yuri was still chatting on beside him, unaware of his brewing anxiety as the leaden feeling began to spread to his legs, making each of the steps up to the ride harder and harder as they got closer. Clearly a few of the other visitors had had the same idea to go on his ride first and all of the seats were full. Otabek felt light headed as Yuri tugged at his sleeve and pulled them both into the queue that was for the front two seats. Otabek heard Yuri say something about getting on the next ride distantly since the sound of blood rushing in his eardrums was deafening him slightly. They watched the cart shoot off along the tracks, the sounds of people screaming filling the air and Otabek felt his mouth go dry and his stomach sink right down to the floor. He could feel the cold sweat on his neck and his T-shirt beginning to stick to his back, counting down the dreaded seconds until the carriage would be back on the platform. Yuri was practically bouncing up and down next to him in excitement, Otabek gave him what he hoped was a (weak) smile though he expected it may have looked more like a grimace.

_It was going to be fine, it was going to be fine, it was just a ride..._

Too soon the cart came screeching to a halt at the platform, windswept looking people disembarking the ride looking exhilarated.

_It was going to be fine..._

As soon as they removed the chain barrier Yuri was tugging him towards the front seats, Otabek thought he could see Yuri's lips moving but there was nothing but the sound of the blood rushing in his ears which made all other sounds seem like they were underwater.

Otabek stares down at the seat beside Yuri, legs trembling as he looks for the overhead harness.

It's not there.

He can tell his breathing isn't steady but an employee gives him an exasperated look and he sits down anyway. He feels queasy as another employee pushes down a large metal belt that covers his waist and upper legs. On the belt there is a bar which Otabek expects he is meant to hold onto and it feels less safe than going into space without a spacesuit.

His throat is tight and his insides are twisting themselves into knots when he feels a hand on his arm. Yuri's wide eyed blurry face is full of concern. Otabek screws his eyes shut.

_It's going to be fine, it's just a ride, don't ruin this for Yuri..._

He grips the bar, white knuckled, and his probably oxygen deprived brain thinks that his stomach could have its own tap dancing cabaret when the cart shoots out into the sky.

_It's not fine, it's not a ride, he back, body tumbling and being thrown around like a rag doll in the backseat as the car rolls over and over. His head smacks against the window (or is it the headrest on the ride?) and he can't breathe, he can't scream, tears are streaming down his face. Someone is shouting his name..._

"Otabek!" Yuri's face comes into focus in front of him, he dimly notices the ride is back on the platform again. His cheeks are damp already but he covers his face as fresh tears of relief fall. He expects the next people waiting to ride will either be annoyed or traumatised at the sight of him. The belt from around his middle has been removed, the employees hovering uncomfortably nearby, Otabek doesn't have the energy to care breathing shakily and deeply against his knees.

There is a pair of gentle hands on his arms the will be able to feel him trembling, he slowly notices Yuri speaking to him quietly,

"...go somewhere a bit quieter shall we?" He catches. He breathes deeply a few more times before nodding, and getting shakily to his feet. Yuri takes a hold of his arms and steers him towards the exit, Otabek's movements are less coordinated than usual, not helped by his jelly like legs and feeling of nausea residing around his midriff.

Otabek thinks several rude words that would be more befitting of the younger boys vocabulary.

_He ruined it for Yuri..._

He sways dangerously next to the grass verge, leaning his hands onto his knees breathing heavily, focusing all his will power on to not letting breakfast make a reappearance. Yuri tells him he's going to buy a bottle of water and Otabek manages to hold on until Yuri is out of earshot before doubling over and retching horribly, saliva dribbling down his chin but cornflakes not making a reprise. He drags himself over to a bench and sits down, he can only imagine what a mess he looks like.

Yuri returns shortly and Otabek takes the water bottle from him gratefully. The blond sits down next to him, knocking their knees together.

"I'm sorry,"

"You should've told me you didn't like big rides," they say simultaneously. Otabek stares down at his feet,

"I didn't want you to miss out on the fun because of me," he mutters, cheeks pink with embarrassment.

"Don't be stupid, I should've realised something was up, you weren't yourself, if I'd noticed I would never have made you go on it," Yuri says guilty. Otabek shakes his head,

"It's not your fault Yuri," and rests his head on Yuri's shoulder, eyes closed. The emotional stress had drained him.

"It was a car accident, when I was fourteen, my auntie and I were both fine, only concussion and whiplash, but after that I've always hated travelling by car. Being thrown around up there it just, it took me back..." He trails off, there's no easy way to explain it without sounding mad. Yuri doesn't push him though, just rests his own head on top of Otabek's. They sit like this in silence for a few minutes before Otabek continues, "I've had anxiety attacks before, this one, this one was just pretty bad,".

He's taken by surprise when Yuri wraps his arms around him, pulling them closer together. It's nice, it's grounding, Otabek tucks his head between Yuri's shoulder and neck and allows him self to breathe steadily for a while. Once he feels calm again, they pull apart, though their knees are still knocking against each other.

"Arcade?" Yuri asks grinning.

"Only if you win me a bear from the claw machines," Otabek replies jokingly. The competitive glint in Yuri's eyes says it all.

"You're on Beka,"


End file.
